Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
These 23 Groupies Had The Most Insane Sexual Experiences With Celebs
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
35 Of The Funniest Things People Said While Banging
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.