epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I need water and some morals