i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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