Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
