weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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