Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize