I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Less talking, more tequila
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
