I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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