Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
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