Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Randomize