I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
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