she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
love makes seman taste better
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
