She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
