Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
