Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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