Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
