I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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