Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
