I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
