CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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