Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
