dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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