At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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