i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
