The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
