great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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