It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
