I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
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