but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
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