Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
