You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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