I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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