Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
