Texts From Last Night

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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman

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  (250): I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman http://tfl.nu/ee4v
  Replies (2) Good night (907) Bad night (996)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.

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  (248): i fuckib htae you, you church bitch. http://tfl.nu/lauo
  Replies (4) Good night (1100) Bad night (1113)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?

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  (301): Is it necrophilia if we're both dead? http://tfl.nu/6pje
  Replies (6) Good night (852) Bad night (1161)
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  (607): View more from New York

  so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.

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  (607): so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class. http://tfl.nu/dhq5
  Replies (50) Good night (788) Bad night (4802)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"

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  (856): She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk" http://tfl.nu/d5n3
  Replies (12) Good night (7182) Bad night (1258)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.

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  (832): Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is. http://tfl.nu/odjy
  Replies (9) Good night (4184) Bad night (1329)
• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine

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  (650): She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine http://tfl.nu/h16d
  Replies (15) Good night (3579) Bad night (1555)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.

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  (306): No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke. http://tfl.nu/zs7w
  Replies (5) Good night (698) Bad night (1200)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.

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  (573): Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI. http://tfl.nu/6uwa
  Replies (12) Good night (1731) Bad night (839)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.

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  (517): Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door. http://tfl.nu/ryl2
  Replies (10) Good night (815) Bad night (1750)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her

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  (206): Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her http://tfl.nu/6f57
  Replies (4) Good night (2491) Bad night (607)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here

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  (719): we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here http://tfl.nu/nyi7
  Replies (8) Good night (1168) Bad night (554)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.

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  (609): Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel. http://tfl.nu/9ny9
  Replies (9) Good night (1831) Bad night (608)
• Favorite

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.

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  (774): preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts. http://tfl.nu/6ehv
  Replies (3) Good night (749) Bad night (360)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me

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  (304): My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me http://tfl.nu/flmi
  Replies (4) Good night (700) Bad night (280)

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