Texts From Last Night

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  (818): View more from California

  Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.

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  (818): Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical. http://tfl.nu/onyl
  Replies (42) Good night (10297) Bad night (2008)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality

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  (336): I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality http://tfl.nu/g1bs
  Replies (73) Good night (1513) Bad night (12938)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.

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  (540): Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later. http://tfl.nu/bbcr
  Replies (9) Good night (4616) Bad night (945)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.

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  (402): Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then. http://tfl.nu/941i
  Replies (24) Good night (5109) Bad night (1175)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would

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  (513): If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would http://tfl.nu/dfsx
  Replies (7) Good night (3614) Bad night (1030)
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  (518): View more from New York

  and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis

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  (518): and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis http://tfl.nu/7q4s
  Replies (13) Good night (3592) Bad night (1193)
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  (310): View more from California

  I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub

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  (310): I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub http://tfl.nu/zgaw
  Replies (7) Good night (3755) Bad night (915)
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.

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  (989): It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here. http://tfl.nu/e0yb
  Replies (6) Good night (3314) Bad night (1177)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?

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  (850): We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out? http://tfl.nu/dwkr
  Replies (8) Good night (3399) Bad night (869)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.

  (1-256): View more from Alabama

  I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them

  (256): View more from Alabama

  FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT

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  (256): I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship. (1-256): I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them (256): FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT http://tfl.nu/i1rw
  Replies (6) Good night (1663) Bad night (952)
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  (714): View more from California

  The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.

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  (714): The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet. http://tfl.nu/xgey
  Replies (12) Good night (2442) Bad night (987)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.

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  (414): yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour. http://tfl.nu/t1tz
  Replies (3) Good night (923) Bad night (475)
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  (607): View more from New York

  Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!

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  (607): Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?! http://tfl.nu/6znz
  Replies (5) Good night (834) Bad night (422)
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  (415): View more from California

  Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.

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  (415): Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family. http://tfl.nu/k0wh
  Replies (1) Good night (1113) Bad night (309)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS

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  (717): IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS http://tfl.nu/i9d5
  Replies (3) Good night (669) Bad night (312)

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