My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX