dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.