so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Deaf chicks here I come
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale