Texts From Last Night

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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get

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  (484): When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left (484): you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get http://tfl.nu/33sr
  Replies (45) Good night (1014) Bad night (4150)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  I need a leather bustier to keep them in.

  (925): View more from California

  Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.

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  (406): I need a leather bustier to keep them in. (925): Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that. http://tfl.nu/8m96
  Replies (26) Good night (6017) Bad night (654)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.

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  (513): After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God. http://tfl.nu/onhi
  Replies (16) Good night (3057) Bad night (1389) Order T-Shirt
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.

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  (828): I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office. http://tfl.nu/0hvj
  Replies (7) Good night (1339) Bad night (3630)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though

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  (505): I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though http://tfl.nu/889i
  Replies (9) Good night (934) Bad night (2315) Order T-Shirt
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.

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  (773): Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night. http://tfl.nu/t8p9
  Replies (6) Good night (2908) Bad night (1535) Order T-Shirt
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.

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  (724): i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand. http://tfl.nu/fmi9
  Replies (6) Good night (2233) Bad night (585) Order T-Shirt
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.

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  (814): I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer. http://tfl.nu/ef74
  Replies (3) Good night (1384) Bad night (692) Order T-Shirt
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  (509): View more from Washington

  idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.

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  (509): idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow. http://tfl.nu/e8dm
  Replies (7) Good night (2256) Bad night (612) Order T-Shirt
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good

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  (937): do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good http://tfl.nu/57yk
  Replies (2) Good night (1375) Bad night (505) Order T-Shirt
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.

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  (618): I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy. http://tfl.nu/it0x
  Replies (6) Good night (2302) Bad night (558)
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.

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  (810): I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning. http://tfl.nu/b9vx
  Replies (25) Good night (1351) Bad night (540) Order T-Shirt
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.

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  (262): Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs. http://tfl.nu/x449
  Replies (1) Good night (371) Bad night (803) Order T-Shirt
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  (845): View more from New York

  I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.

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  (845): I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it. http://tfl.nu/kwag
  Replies (2) Good night (1196) Bad night (267)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?

  (1+61): View more from

  Mobile recharge?

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  (+61): What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls? (1+61): Mobile recharge? http://tfl.nu/wf5a
  Replies (2) Good night (821) Bad night (227) Order T-Shirt

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