It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
