yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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