Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
