Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
The feeling are messing with the penis
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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