I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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