I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Randomize
