I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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