Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Randomize
