Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
