i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.