just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"