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Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
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