Texts From Last Night

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  (586): View more from Michigan

  Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less

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  (586): Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less http://tfl.nu/ah1z
  Replies (2) Good night (957) Bad night (1498)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...

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  (713): I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way... http://tfl.nu/0604
  Replies (12) Good night (865) Bad night (1493)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  he broke up with me so i peed in his bed

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  (503): he broke up with me so i peed in his bed http://tfl.nu/g0ev
  Replies (15) Good night (2905) Bad night (1085)
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  (716): View more from New York

  i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.

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  (716): i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy. http://tfl.nu/q9at
  Replies (76) Good night (3638) Bad night (2056)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?

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  (267): how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch? http://tfl.nu/7fe5
  Replies (16) Good night (5199) Bad night (1219)
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  (631): View more from New York

  Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.

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  (631): Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate. http://tfl.nu/qonz
  Replies (5) Good night (1312) Bad night (2813)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.

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  (210): I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom. http://tfl.nu/a1h2
  Replies (8) Good night (908) Bad night (3287)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.

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  (515): Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him. http://tfl.nu/f51r
  Replies (5) Good night (900) Bad night (2530)
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  (916): View more from California

  Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash

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  (916): Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash http://tfl.nu/rtwe
  Replies (9) Good night (2414) Bad night (733)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge

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  (248): My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge http://tfl.nu/bj9s
  Replies (16) Good night (2259) Bad night (729)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.

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  (303): I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen. http://tfl.nu/li1t
  Replies (4) Good night (2097) Bad night (643)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon

  (1-262): View more from Wisconsin

  That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months

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  (262): Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon (1-262): That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months http://tfl.nu/99ql
  Replies (1) Good night (1699) Bad night (600)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.

  (415): View more from California

  I still don't know how you've lived this long.

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  (925): I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time. (415): I still don't know how you've lived this long. http://tfl.nu/6ttn
  Replies (5) Good night (1186) Bad night (538)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.

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  (919): He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal. http://tfl.nu/fw4t
  Replies (3) Good night (380) Bad night (281)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face

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  (631): I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face http://tfl.nu/ohdn
  Replies (1) Good night (168) Bad night (222)

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