Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped