Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."