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• (214): View more from Texas

  She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.

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• (305): View more from Florida

  We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.

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• (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.

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  19 Parents Admit the Lies They’ve Told Their Children

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• (763): View more from Minnesota

  there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.

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• (701): View more from North Dakota

  I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.

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• (707): View more from California

  someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.

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• (971): View more from Oregon

  eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.

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  21 Worst Confessions on a First Date

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• (843): View more from South Carolina

  I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.

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• (260): View more from Indiana

  Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.

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• (561): View more from Florida

  Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.

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• (224): View more from Illinois

  It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.

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