Texts From Last Night

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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Ppl just aren't as funny as we are

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  (847): Ppl just aren't as funny as we are http://tfl.nu/yoyk
  Replies (7) Good night (1469) Bad night (709)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.

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  (270): I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you. http://tfl.nu/x17f
  Replies (7) Good night (2288) Bad night (792)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.

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  (509): I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120. http://tfl.nu/oklb
  Replies (19) Good night (1267) Bad night (5049)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??

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  (503): You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!?? http://tfl.nu/qs7s
  Replies (5) Good night (3978) Bad night (664)
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  (518): View more from New York

  He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"

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  (518): He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!" http://tfl.nu/furw
  Replies (68) Good night (7549) Bad night (2138)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"

  (913): View more from Kansas

  did you yell "are you not entertained?"

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  (410): i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude" (913): did you yell "are you not entertained?" http://tfl.nu/qa0j
  Replies (21) Good night (7073) Bad night (912)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life

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  (406): I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life http://tfl.nu/9zyl
  Replies (10) Good night (6336) Bad night (1004)
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  (845): View more from New York

  I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?

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  (845): I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right? http://tfl.nu/k79j
  Replies (2) Good night (3208) Bad night (1289)
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  (914): View more from New York

  Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?

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  (914): Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave? http://tfl.nu/fkd9
  Replies (14) Good night (3532) Bad night (1256)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar

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  (513): Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar http://tfl.nu/rpu6
  Replies (7) Good night (3782) Bad night (927)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.

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  (678): Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job. http://tfl.nu/5ogs
  Replies (11) Good night (4159) Bad night (894)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?

  (325): View more from Texas

  Jail. That could go wrong.

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  (901): Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong? (325): Jail. That could go wrong. http://tfl.nu/f51a
  Replies (5) Good night (2246) Bad night (774)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.

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  (914): Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face. http://tfl.nu/vgja
  Replies (12) Good night (3565) Bad night (1240)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.

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  (402): Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag. http://tfl.nu/nvod
  Replies (2) Good night (582) Bad night (739)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children

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  (937): somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children http://tfl.nu/47si
  Replies (4) Good night (563) Bad night (669)

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