the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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