We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.