i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
she peed on how many people?
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
