all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
