too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
