I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
