I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
