Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
