we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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