I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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