His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Everclear isn't food dammit
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
