you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
