Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
