i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
