My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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