Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
my sisters under your porch take her home
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
