he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
