Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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