Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Randomize
