come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
She bit a glass in half.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
