Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i jhust puked up my retainher.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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