there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
