I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
