Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize