i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
