never play flip cup with pint glasses
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
