Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
